Looks good huh? This seafood dish is perfect for a large summertime dinner party. So grab your friends (old and the new ones who just found out your making paella) and prepare for an afternoon of sangria, wine and raucous overindulgence. Also, you are going to need a very large pan.

2 cups Spanish Rice (or risotto if you want a creamier consistency)

10 Chicken Thighs (We chose these because they are the juiciest. If you want something more boring, be our guest)

6 Spanish Chorizos, uncured

1.5 Quarts chicken broth

1lb Shrimp

1 lb Calamari

6 mussels 

6 Clams

2 Tomatoes

10 Asparagus Stalks

2 Garlic Cloves

2 lemons, quartered 

1/4 cup Olive Oil

1 tsp saffron

Pinch Paprika (sweet or spicy, your call)

Got all that? Good.

First, lay the thighs on a baking sheet on top of some aluminum foil. Sprinkle some salt. Throw those bad boys into the oven, and set it to convection. Leave them for about 5-10 minutes.

While the chicken is  cooking, fry the chorizo in a pan. You shouldn't need any oil, since the chorizo should start oozing as soon as it hits. 

While aaaall of the above is cooking, boil 1 quart of chicken broth, add salt and saffron. Once it starts boiling add the rice. Cook until the rice is puffy and yellow. 

When the chicken is crispy on the outside, raw on the inside, turn off the oven and leave it in there, to preserve heat. Stick the sausage in there too once they're done. 

Once the rice is done, pour it into your giant paella pan. Unless you cooked it in there. Then you're just so smart. Add the rest of the broth.

Place the seafood, the chicken, the asparagus, and the sausage artistically around the top. This will allow the seafood and asparagus to cook and the chicken to finish cooking. 

Now, while those delicious bits finish cooking, preheat the oven to 350. Take the tomatoes and quarter them. Drizzle honey over them and sprinkle salt and pepper. Put them in the oven for about 15 minutes or until the get a little wrinkly. 

Place the tomatoes symmetrically or in whatever way you find most sexy around the paella. Do the same with the lemon quarters. 

All done! Take it out to show your friends, register the shock and awe on their faces, don't forget to take a picture, and...eat! 

The sauce goes well on anything that has a strong savory flavor. Especially the cauliflower dish that appears below. But don't take our word for it: dollop it wherever you most please!

1/2 cup yogurt
Zest of one Lime
Juice of 1/2 lime
1/4 tsp garlic powder
Mix it all up and get to dolloping, amigos!

This dish is an eastern twist on the classic:

1 Head of cauliflower                                      1/4 tsp cumin
2 cloves garlic, sliced                                     1/2 turmeric
1/2 jalapeno, sliced w/seeds                       1/4 tsp coriander
1 Splash peanut oil                                           Salt, Pepper

Chop and toss the head of cauliflower in a bowl with the other ingredients, then roast it for 20 minutes at 450 degrees, or until you see the edges of the cauliflower start to brown. 

Take the cauliflower out of the oven and sprinkle with cilantro. 
Serve with the Yogurt Sauce for best results. 

This isn't actually a French dish. I just made it up while in Nice. Some fellow backpackers left their lamb to when they left, so I decided to see what I could do with it.

4 lamb chops (or 8, whatever)                                          Olive Oil
2-3 fresh delicious tomatoes
2 Cloves of garlic
Balsamic Vinegar
Salt
Pepper

Chop the garlic so the ends make little points and then shove those into the lamb. Now fry the lamb in some olive oil, sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper. Once the lamb is cooked (I prefer still pink inside, but hey man, you do you), take it off the fire and throw it on a plate. 

Now chop the tomatoes into sizable wedges and place them around the lamb in an aesthetically pleasing fashion. Sprinkle more salt, then drizzle balsamic vinegar over the whole thing. 

When you eat it, make sure to get the tomato with your bites of lamb. Also, watch out for those garlic chunks. 

Here's a picture:

I can't believe it's not peanut butter! That's what you would be saying, if this almond butter didn't have such a distinct, and delicious taste.

Ingredients:

2 cups almonds
1.5 cups oil
1/2 tsp white sugar
1/2 tsp brown sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon

Crush the almonds with a mallet, after putting them in a baggy. Then take all of the ingredients and throw them in a food processor until they become nice and smooth.

Pro-tip: Bread is for suckers! Eat this with a spoon.

This sauce requires 2 different parts:

1. Chili Oil: Take 3 Habanero Peppers 1 jalapeno pepper and some rosemary and put them in 1/2 of a fifth of everclear. Let it sit until the peppers turn white and the liquid turns an angry orange. This can be saved and used several times

2. The base: 1 cup tomato sauce                               1 strip bacon
                         1 tsp coriander                                        1 tsp cinnamon
                         3 tsp Paprika                                            1 tsp cumin                                                                                
                         1/2 tsp nutmeg

                         1 tsp ginger                                               1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
                         1/2 lemon juice                                       3 cloves garlic(whole)
                         Salt and pepper to taste                       1 tbsp crushed, toasted almonds
Steps:

Fry the bacon and discard the strip (or eat it!).  Save the grease.

Mix the tomato sauce, the vinegar, the almonds, the garlic, and all of the spices together thoroughly. Pour the mixture into the pan with the grease and mix. Add the lemon juice.

Now pour about a 1/3 of a cup into the mix. You can do more if you're feeling adventurous. 

A salad best paired with a Mediterranean-style dish.  Also, Mike's first attempt at making a salad that somehow worked.

2 Bags Mixed Lettuce                                               1/2 Can of Large Olives (Stuffed)
1/3 Onion, Sliced                                                       Lemon Juice
1 Can Diced Italian Tomatoes                               Olive Oil
1 Small Can Sliced Mushrooms                            Wine Reduction Leftovers
1 Log Goat Cheese, Sliced                                       Basil
3-4 Sliced Roasted Red Peppers (Canned)      Rosemary
Salt and Pepper

Mix all ingredients in a large salad bowl.  Take the remnants of a wine reduction sauce (explained in other entries) and pour over the salad.  Add several squirts of lemon, and season with salt, pepper, basil, and rosemary to taste.  Toss salad a second time to ensure a proper mixture.

This entree is a delicious first foray into the world of making chili.

2.5 lb Ground Beouf                                                1.5 Sticks Celery, Chopped
4 Slices (or more) Bacon                                       3 Garlic Cloves, Thinly Chopped
1 Can Kidney Beans                                                 6 Jalapeno Peppers, Chopped
1 Can Black Beans                                                     1 Handful Crimini Mushrooms, Chopped
2/3 Can Fire Roasted Tomato Salsa                 Crystal Hot Sauce
2 Cans Mexican-Style Diced Tomatoes           Mexican Chili Powder
1 Can Tomato Soup                                                  Brown Sugar
1 Onion, Diced                                                            Beef Bouillon
1.5 Cups Water                                                           .5 Cups Whiskey

Bring water and whiskey to boil in a medium saucepan, then stir beef bouillon until it is dissolved into mixture.  Set mixture to the side.  Cook bacon in a large pan until slightly crispy, then remove.  Drain half of the grease, but leave remaining in the pan.  Add ground beouf to pan and cook on medium until browned (spice with pepper to taste).  Combine all ingredients into a large slow cooker, topping with bouillon-whiskey mixture and adding copious amounts of chili powder and Louisiana hot sauce to taste.  Stir mixture thoroughly, then cook on low heat for four hours (three hours minimum).

Pro Tip: Store chili in fridge overnight for best results.  Remember, the longer in the slow cooker, the more delicious the chili.